Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
