She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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