My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
