the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
