Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
