Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
