so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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