I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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