We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
