i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
