I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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