You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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