On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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