yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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