umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.