Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again