do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
