How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I believe in your delicious
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
