I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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