Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
