I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
