I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
