you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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