His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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