where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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