they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
