LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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