"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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