fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
