a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
