But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
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what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool