I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.