she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie