Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
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This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.