Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You coming home soon, man?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.