I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
