I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
