i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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