you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
