We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
