After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
