this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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