Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
