i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My bed smells like the plague
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
