There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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