You work out of a Hotel?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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