I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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