every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
