Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
