Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
