I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I look better un-naked...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
