her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize