im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
