They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you still have your period?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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