you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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