I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
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FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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