I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
