Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
