so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
