I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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