Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
