Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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