Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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