Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
