its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
