You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
