Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
