Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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