your thong is hanging out like whoa
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
