Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
