My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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