my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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