did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
