question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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